Now What, Satan!? The Greatest Pinch in History

"Our Champion, Mr. Satan is about to appear. Just how long will Trunks-kun's power hold out against Mr. Satan?" Trunks stands on the stage with his arms crossed, awaiting the arrival of Mr. Satan. Pockets of the crowd cheer "SA-TA-N!" but most of the people are just talking amongst themselves. Satan stares outside from behind a partition, completely terrified. Attendant, "You know, he's an incredible little boy, huh? I don't suppose even the great Mr. Satan can stand waiting for this!" He laughs. Satan smiles. "W-what if he decides to get serious on me?" Attendant, "Don't be silly." Satan laughs, but his nervousness still shines through easily. "Joking! I'm joking!!" There's a pause, then they both laugh. Then Satan goes back to being terrified and staring up at Trunks. "What can I do? I'm going to die!"

The announcer asks Trunks, "Would you like to take a little break first?" Trunks, "I'm fine." Announcer, "Really? Then, without further ado, Mr. Satan! If you please?" Satan hides inside, but the attendant who was with him pushes him out the door. "Go ahead, Mr. Satan." Surprised and, of course, nervous, Satan reacts by crying out and stumbling into the open. A man throws his fist into the air. "Mr. Satan!" Another man, "World's greatest!" Satan is frozen in "mid-stumble" when the crowd begins chanting, "SA-TA-N! SA-TA-N!" He throws his fists into the air and jumps up. "Who is this youngster, who challenges the world champion, Mr. Satan!?" Trunks is silent while the crowd continues chanting. Satan laughs and points at Trunks. "It's you, then!? I hope you're ready!" He throws up his hand and growls. Then he remembers his situation and his expression suddenly begins to give away his fear again. "W-what should I do? If this is a dream, hurry and wake up!" Trunks stares at him. "This old guy is the World Champion? I wouldn't believe it for a second. I wonder if he's stronger than Dad."

Goten watches from the side of the platform. "Trunks-kun, hang in there!" Satan screams, startled, and spins around. "You keep that to yourself! He doesn't have to hang in here!" Goten, "Huh?" Confused, he slowly lowers his hand. Kuririn watches, bored. "Well, how about we start getting back? I think the preliminaries should be over by now." Goku, "You're right, let's go see." They start to walk away and Videl says, "Hold on!" Everyone stops. "That child down there is one of you, right? He's about to fight with Mr. Satan! Aren't you going to watch that first?" Gohan spins around, throwing up a false barrier of enthusiasm so as not to betray to her that he's nervous. "Uh, yeah! Yeah, we are! You never know, it may turn out to be a good match." The other Z Senshi walk away. Goku waves and tells him, "Well, we'll head out first, then." Gohan just stands there with Videl.

Satan throws off his cape and replaces his world champion belt with something a little less showy and a lot easier to fight with. He hunches over, holding his fists up to about his chest, and holds for a second, then screams and begins throwing punches at the air. A kick here and there, a volley of punches, more kicking. He finally stops in front of Trunks, who looks completely unimpressed. The crowd cheers and Satan holds his hands up. Trunks stares at him. "What's this? There's nothing incredible about that. Could he be acting pathetic on purpose? That must be it. He's the World Champion, after all. Okay, let's do it." He waves his hands around, but only his hands. Satan's eyes bulge and we look back to see Trunks now stretching his legs. Alarmed, Satan runs up to him. "H-hey! What are you so worked up about? This match is just an attraction! T-this is supposed to be light fun! So let's take it easy here, okay? Huh? Yeah?" He laughs nervously. Trunks stops and looks up at him. "No way. I'm going as hard as I can." Satan's eyes go wide and his mouth hangs open in fear. "Y-you fool! Let's be grown up about this. We're just playing around!" Trunks, "I'm a child." Satan, "Stubborn boy! Give it a break, you're acting like a kid." Trunks, "I am a kid."

The announcer pops up behind Satan. "So, are you both ready, then? Let's get this underway." Satan trembles. Man, "That kid is uncommonly strong, but overall, Satan has to be even stronger, huh?" Another man responds, "He's gotta be. He's the one who beat Cell, after all." Bulma, "Trunks! Go! Go!" Satan stares at Trunks in fear, his heartbeat clearly audible. "What should I do!?" Suddenly, the hearbeat stops and the dark background turns almost completely white. "I-I know!" Satan falls to the ground, clutching his knee. The announcer adjusts his sunglasses. "Oh! Mr. Satan, what seems to be the trouble?" He runs up to Satan and asks without the microphone, "Mr. Satan, what is it?" Satan explains, "Back when I fought Cell, I hurt my knee, and now..." His eyes are shut tightly. The announcer jumps up. "Eh? You hurt your knee during that fight?" Satan, "Y-yeah. I kept it a secret, but in fact, that's what happened. What a shame, that at a time like this..." The announcer leans in close. "There's a doctor here, we'll have him look at it. I'll go get him." And then Satan's eyes open and he jumps to his feet. The announcer stops in mid-step. "No, it's okay. It seems to be better now. I should be able to fight." He puts his hands on his hips. "After all, I am the World Champion. This is nothing at all." He throws his head to one side, then the other. The announcer turns around. "You're sure it's alright?" Satan, "Of course!" Announcer, "It's alright! Mr. Satan will fight!" The crowd cheers and Trunks throws punches and kicks at the air as he prepares for the fight. Satan stares at him. "W-we're about to start. What can I do? What can I do? If I lose to a kid, my reputation will be damaged!" Then his expression changes to something even more distorted than his "I'm screwed" look. "That's it! My opponent is a kid! I can just pretend to lose to him on purpose! That's good! That's what I'll do!"

The announcer, now standing next to Goten, holds his arm up. "So, then..." Satan, "T-time out for a second!" He runs over to Trunks and puts his hand on his back. "Trunks-kun, listen. Come to think of it, we never showed you how the special salute for this attraction is to be held." Trunks, "Salute?" Satan leans in closer to him. "That's right! When the match starts, you will first gently, gently now, tap me, the Champion, on the face. It will be perfect. Just like this." He taps Trunks on the left cheek. "Got that?" He jumps back up. "No matter what, you mustn't salute me as hard as you can. Okay? You got that?" Trunks, "I goti t. Just a tap, right?" Satan grins and turns to the announcer. "Alright. We can begin now." He laughs. "The boy just wanted my autograph, and I was telling him we'd do it afterward." Announcer (to himself), "Ah, I see." He shakes his head and suddenly, his enthusiasm comes flooding back. "This will be interesting. Well then, the match between the Junior Champion Trunks-kun and Mr. Satan! Please begin!"

Mr. Satan turns around and holds his hands up. "Alright! So, bring it on!" The crowd cheers. Goten watches with a smile. Mr. Satan holds out his face and points to it. Announcer, "Oh? Mr. Satan has stuck out his face, as if to say 'Hit me!' Such poise! Such poise, Mr. Satan!" One man puts his arm around his friend. "Way to go!" Friend, "Good luck, kid!" Trunks takes a fighting pose, then throws his fist forward to do the salute. We see in slow motion as Satan's face is slowly distorted by the fist and how his left eye bulges while his right eye is held in by his disfigured face. He lifts into the air and it goes back to normal speed as he flies, screaming, into a brick wall. He crashes into the wall with a thud, and a bunch of dust is thrown up around him. He lies upside down, embedded in the wall. Both eyes bulging, his mouth open in surprise. He groans in pain, then falls to the ground, landing on his face. Goten and the announcer stare at him, Goten confused and the announcer shocked. The crowd is almost completely silent except for a few people making inarticulate noises of surprise. Satan remains still. Videl stares wide-eyed and mutters, "P-P-Papa!" Gohan stares at Trunks with an expression that says exactly what he does, "You idiot! You've got to pull your punch more than that!"

--COMMERCIAL--

Trunks stands there with his arm still outstretched. He slowly lowers his fist. The announcer turns from him back to Mr. Satan. He adjusts his sunglasses. Videl, "Papa!" Satan is still for several more moments, then his arms twitch just a bit. He slowly lifts himself up, successfully stifling, for the most part, groans of pain. He gets to his knees, then stands up completely. He looks over his shoulder at Trunks, then suddenly spins around, clutching his gut and screaming. "You got me! You sure are strong. The old man has lost!" The announcer's confused expression quickly goes back to enthusiasm and he announces, "R-Ringout! What's this? Trunks-kun has won!" The crowd gives off a simultaneous understanding "Oh" sound. Man, "Hey, he did that on purpose!" Another man, "That's our Satan!" Woman, "Nice going, World Champion!" Satan waves as he walks back in, and Trunks just stares at him, dumbfounded. The attendant waiting in the back chuckles as Satan walks in. "That was nicely done. A very convincing show of losing!" Satan, "W-well, I think I'll take a short nap in the waiting room now." He walks away. Trunks is still staring at the door into which Satan disappeared. "I-I don't know. Maybe he was strong after all." Goten watches in silence.

Satan calmly walks into his room, shuts the door, and sits down on the floor. After a few seconds, he begins writhing in pain, holding his face and screaming. His free hand grabs hold of the rug. "Ow!! I'm going to die!!" He stops moving around. "You stupid brat! And after I said to him 'gently'! Worthless dimwit!" He commences writhing once again.

The announcer pats Trunks on the head. "Congratulations, Trunks-kun! You're even stronger than the World Champion!" The crowd cheers, and Trunks stares ahead silently. The announcer turns away from him and back to the crowd. "And now, before we start the Tenkaichi Budokai's Senior Division, we will take a thirty minute intermission. The Senior Division will convene at 1:40 PM, so until then, we hope you look forward to it..."

Piccolo, Vegeta, Kuririn, Juuhachigou, and Son Goku walk to wherever it is they need to go to check on the preliminaries. Goku, "Oh, there's an intermission?" Kuririn, "I'm hungry, why don't we eat something before then?" They come up to a gate guarded by two Budokai attendants. One of them throws his arms up to block the entrance. "Ah, excuse me, only contestants who have qualified may proceed past this point." Kuririn smiles. "You mean the results of the preliminaries are out already? In that case, I think each one of us have qualified." Attendant, "Huh? One moment, please." He fishes a list out of his pocket somewhere. "May I have your names?" Son Goku, Kuririn, Juuhachigou, Vegeta, and Ma Junior name themselves off (in that order). Goku turns around. "Ma Junior?" Piccolo, "There was that business in the past. It would be unfavorable if I went by 'Piccolo'." Goku, "I guess so." Attendant, "Ah, here you are, here you are. Please excuse me, you have all qualified. By all means, you may proceed. At 1:30, there will be a drawing to determine your match order, so until then, you are at your liesure." They continue through the gateway as Goku says, "Half-past one, huh? That gives us about twenty minutes." On the other side, they keep walking. Gohan, "Yeah, but aside from our little membership here and Gohan, there doesn't seem to be anyone worth worrying about. We'll be taking all the prize money." Goku laughs. "I got no way to use it over in the Other World." Kuririn looks back at him, smiling. "How nice for you, Goku, not getting any older in the Other World." Goku looks down at him. "I suppose. Kuririn, you want to try dying?" Kuririn, "Now cut that out! I'm extremely happy now, you know." He turns to Juuhachigou. "Right?" Juuhachigou says to herself, "Idiot."

Goten sits in a chair while a bunch of reporters crowd around Trunks a few feet away. Trunks has a towel slung over his shoulders and he's wiping his face with one end of it. "Congratulations on your victory. You sure were strong, Trunks-kun." A woman asks, "What kind of training have you been up to, little boy?" They're pretty much just going in the order they all lined up, and the next one in line says, "It's a shame the TV cameras were all broken and we couldn't broadcast, huh?" Trunks is completely silent. Goten looks around nearby. Finally, the last reporter says, "Who would you like to communicate your joy to?" Another man runs up and pushes his way in. "What are your impressions, having fought against Mr. Satan?" Trunks remains silent for a moment, then suddenly, his eyes widen and he points somewhere beyond them. "Ah! Mr. Satan is coming!" All five turn around simultaneously with an "Eh?" Trunks, "Goten!" Goten jumps out of his chair and they run off together. One of the reporters turns around, then they all gather in a window as Trunks and Goten run out of the building. They ask in unison, "Trunks-kun! Can we have a word concerning your impressions of victory?"

Trunks and Goten peer over a high brick wall, then jump down and land between the wall and bushes on the other side. Trunks, "Man, they were persistent." Goten, "Yeah. Say, Trunks-kun, are you really going to give me those toys?" Trunks, "Yeah, of course. But still, there's something still unsatisfying, huh?" Goten, "Hm?" Trunks, "Say, Goten, don't you want to try getting into the adult matches?" Goten, "Mm, I sure do..." Trunks grins.

Son Goku inhales a bunch of noodles. Vegeta takes huge bites out of a piece of chicken. Attendants cart away dirty dishes and bring up more food. After a few more noodles, Goku sits up and proclaims with a full mouth, "Ohh! Yum, yum!" Vegeta's holding his chicken leg off to the side while he shovels something else into his mouth with a spoon. Juuhachigou and Piccolo watch with disinterest. Piccolo, "Hey, you sure you're alright, eating that much before the matches?" Kuririn, "Since when do the dead get hungry to begin with?" Goku, "Over in the Other World, it doesn't matter whether you eat or not. But the food here in the lower realm is so yummy." Gohan appears in the doorway. "Ah, here you are!" Videl shows up behind him. They both walk in. Goku, "Oh, Gohan! How did it go?" Gohan, "Trunks-kun won." Vegeta smiles as he pauses eating for just a moment. "Mr. Satan seemed to lose to him on purpose." Kuririn closes his eyes. "Hmm, right, on purpose. He thinks of everything." Videl, "What do you mean by that?" Gohan jumps up and covers Kuririn's mouth. "Don't pay it too much mind." He laughs nervously, then turns to Kuririn. "Kuririn-san! Please don't be so indiscreet!" Kuririn mumbles from under Gohan's hands, "Gotcha." Videl, "Hm?"

Goku looks up. "Gohan! We've ordered for you, too. You're eating, ain't you?" Gohan smiles. "Yes! I humbly accept!" Skip forward a while, and Gohan is shoveling food into his mouth with everyone else. The dishes pile up, and Juuhachigou and Piccolo don't seem to be getting any less bored. Gohan, "Quite delicious, this food!" Goku, "Ain't it?" He turns to an attendant somewhere off-screen. "Another helping!" Videl watches, confused. "What is it with these people?" Kuririn, "Unbelievable. What is it about you Saiya-jin and your stomachs?" Videl, "Saiya-jin?" Gohan jumps up into Kuririn's face. "Kuririn-san!" Kuririn, "Gotcha, gotcha! I won't say anything else!" Goku leans back, stretching out his arms. "Oh! I'm full! I'm full! Thanks for the hospitality!" Gohan and Vegeta continue eating.

They walk out of the restaurant, Goku stretching his arms. "The food on This Side is yummy indeed!" Gohan smiles at Videl. "You didn't eat anything. Are you dieting?" Videl doesn't respond. Kuririn, "The drawing is just about to begin, isn't it?" They continue walking, and Piccolo's eyes suddenly widen just a bit. Ahead of them, standing still in the middle of the path, are two men. One is pretty big and has pink/light purple skin. The other is also light purple and only about half the size of the bigger guy. They both have white hair and are wearing strange clothes. Furthermore, the smaller one is actually hovering, not standing. He smiles, but the bigger guy has a stern expression. Piccolo's eyes widen a bit more and he gasps. The Z Senshi stop in front of the two men. Goku and Gohan stare at them, confused. Videl sees that the smaller one is hovering and turns to Gohan. "S-say, that person is floating in mid-air..." The small one hovers out to Goku. "Good day. You are Son Goku-san, are you not?" Goku quirks his eyebrows. "H-how did you know I was?" He replies, "I have heard some rumors concerning you. I have wanted to try my hand against you in a match." Goku doesn't know quite what to say, so he just stares instead. "I too have managed to qualify in the preliminaries. If things go well, I hope we may end up competing against each other." Goku still simply stares at him in confused silence. "Of course, I do not believe I have what it takes to win. I would just like to know how strong you are." Vegeta, Gohan, Videl, and Kuririn all have expressions almost of "I'd be annoyed if I knew just what the hell was going on," and Juuhachigou is disinterested as always. Piccolo sports a similar expression to Vegeta, Gohan, and the others. "By all means, if I could shake your hand." He holds his hand out and Goku looks down at it. "Mm? Ah, good to meet you." They shake hands, and the purple man's smile widens. He chuckles. Goku stares down at their hands, confused, and then both of them withdraw their hands. "I see. As the rumors said, you possess a fine soul." Goku, "Huh?" The man finally lands. He bows and says, "Well, if you will excuse me..." He walks away, past the big man who turns and follows him. Piccolo steps up behind Goku. "Who was that, Son?" Goku, "I don't know. But there's no mistaking that we ain't the only ones who will have easy wins anymore." Vegeta takes a step forward, but that's about all he does. Kuririn, "You sure? He didn't appear all that great. I mean, to me, he just seemed like some strange-looking fellow." The Z Senshi watch as the two men disappear down the road.