What's the Matter, Piccolo!? An Unheard-of No-Fight Forfeit

Fireworks explode over the stadium. The crowd cheers, the band plays. Mr. Satan holds a press conference, sitting on a throne, holding a cigar. "Mr. Satan, the board with the matches for this Tenkaichi Budokai has been drawn up. Can we have your impressions at this time?" Satan crosses his legs. "Well, this time, from where I see it, I would say that many high-level contestants have come together. I hope they will stick it out well in the cause of advancing and expanding the techniques of hand-to-hand fighting as they take aim at such a large star as myself." He chuckles. A fat reporter holds up his pen as he comments, "As might be expected of Mr. Satan! Always thinking about the world of hand-to-hand, aren't you?" Satan sips something through a straw, then lowers it again. He seems to have lost his cigar. "Of course, as Champion, it's only natural." Another man holds up a tape recorder. "Champion, could you tell us your aspirations for this Budokai?" Satan, "Well, there can only be one person that arrives at the World Championship, right?" A dog man (actually, he looks more like a bear) asks, "Can we take that to be a declaration of victory, then?" Satan shakes his head. "Oh, no, you never know what might happen during the matches. Carelessness is forbidden." The crowd begins to cheer. Dog/bear/whatever man, "Such modesty!" Satan, who once again has his cigar and his drink, asks, "Moving along, does anyone know who my opponent is?" The fat man from a minute ago looks down at his notebook. "She's a lady contestant, named Number 18." Satan acts surprised (though he already acquired this information in the previous episode). "Ho, a lady? No, this is too much!" He has his hand on top of his head and bears a look that I'm finding quite difficult to describe, but I suppose it's somewhat akin to feigned embarrassment. He laughs nervously while an attendant watches nearby. "He's known all along, and I told him."

The other fighters wait for the touranment to begin. Piccolo leans back against a doorframe with his arms crossed and eyes closed, and through that doorway we can see Kibit and Shin in the background, standing around outside. On the other side of the doorframe, leaning up against the wall, is Punter. He's sitting with his arms and legs crossed and eyes closed. Through another door on the other side of Punter are Yam and Spopovitch, also just standing around. Closer to the 'camera' with her back to the viewer is Videl, and next to her, Gohan. Piccolo's eyes twitch and a drop of sweat runs down his face. Gohan watches. "Piccolo-san..." Videl, "Say, Gohan-kun, that person has been just like that for some time now." She looks up at Gohan. "He's unusually uptight, isn't he?" Gohan, "That's not it in the least. He does that to heighten his ki is all." Videl looks back from Gohan to Piccolo. Gohan, "Piccolo-san, why are you so uptight? Is it your next opponent?" As Gohan focuses on Piccolo, the rest of the world fades into a blue color with a circle of real color surrounding Piccolo and encompassing Kibit and Shin in the background. Shin smiles up at Kibit, talking, but we only see his mouth move, as he's too far away to actually hear. He holds his hand up in an explanatory gesture, then drops it again.

Goku stretches out his legs. Kuririn smiles. "You're sure fired up, aren't you Goku?" Vegeta watches with his arms crosed, and Juuhachigou has her hands in her pockets, looking overall disinterested. Goku has gone to stretching out his arms and upper body. He laughs. "I just can't seem to wait." Kuririn, "Considering your first match is against Vegeta..." As he speaks, he looks back at Vegeta out of the corner of his eye. "...it'll be like holding the final round right there." Goku agrees, and Vegeta looks up. Goku, "I'm already excited!" He continues twisting around, raising his arms above his head to stretch. Then suddenly, he stops. "Hm?" It seems he's just noticed how troubled Piccolo is. He stands up. "Piccolo..." Kuririn, "Yeah, he's pretty fired up too. Indeed, looks like you'll be my opponent in the second round, Piccolo." Shin and Kibit enter through the doorway Piccolo is inhabiting. Shin stops and smiles back at him after passing as Kuririn continues, "Take it easy on me, okay?" He turns back to Goku. "Right, Goku?" Goku studies Shin, and Kuririn turns to his wife. "And as for you, your opponent is the World Champion for now." He holds his hands out as if explaining something. "Spare him enough face accordingly." Juuhachigou, "Leave it alone! I know, already." She brushes her hair back and walks away. Goku goes back to stretching, and Shin looks back to Piccolo. Piccolo opens his eyes and watches.

More fireworks go off over the stadium. Eliza, "Videl is in the third match? For some reason, I'm starting to get excited, too!" Sharpener sits beside her, his arms crossed, smiling. "Not to worry. Videl winning is about as sure a thing as Mr. Satan winning." Eliza, "That's a good point. Oh, the Great Saiyaman is here!" She watches him as he stands in the doorway, talking to Videl. "That means the second round will have a match between two friends of justice! That'll be interesting, huh?" Sharpener, "Hmph, I'm not even sure that yokel boy will even get past the first round!"

A bunch of police officers are grouped together, holding instruments of all sorts. "Listen up, raise your voices! We, the Satan City Police will support Videl-san with everything we've got!" They all hold up their arms, shouting their agreement. Bulma opens up a can and hands it to Yamucha. "Here!" Yamucha takes it. "What's up, Bulma? You're having an unusually fun time of it." Bulma, "After all, Trunks just won the Junior Division. With that having sunk in, of course I'm happy. Vegeta will win the Senior Division..." Chichi listens with annoyance as Bulma talks. She takes a large bite out of a sandwich. "...and father and son will have won the Tenkaichi Budokai." She laughs. "That'll be impossible!" Bulma suddenly stops. "Eh?" She looks over at Chichi, who says confidently, "His opponent is my Goku-sa. Forget victory, Vegeta will lose in the first round." Bulma, "Oh, we don't know that. After all, Trunks-kun beat out Goten-kun." Chichi, "It's an absolute certainty that Goku-sa will be the victor!" She closes her eyes. "As sure as the sun comes up in the west, Goku-sa does not lose!" Bulma, "I'm sorry, but you know, Vegeta has been undergoing ferocious training with my newly modeled hyper-gravity device for five years now. This time Vegeta will win for sure!" Chichi jumps up. "Goku-sa knows our family's livin' rests on him winnin'!" She sits again. "Not like some people I could mention who are here to fight as their hobby!" Bulma, "Vegeta will win!" Chichi, "Goku-sa!" Bulma, "Vegeta!" Yamucha watches it go back and forth as he sips his soda or beer or whatever the hell Bulma gave him. "Goku-sa!" They both get up angrily in each other's faces, and Yamucha puts his hands between them and pushes them apart. "H-hey! Cut it out, you're both acting like children!" Bulma and Chichi push him over and in unison say, "You shut up!" He lands on Oolong. Oolong, "Ooh, ow!"

The announcer holds is microphone in one hand and has the other clenched in a fist. "We apologize for the delay. Who from among this group will it be that stands at the pinnacle?" The crowd cheers. "And so, we commence the matches! First up is Contestant Kuririn vs. Contestant Punter." Goku, "Good luck, Kuririn." Kuririn smiles at him and waves as he walks away. "Well, guess I'll be back in a moment." As he walks out, Punter jumps up next to him and knocks him into the wall. Kuririn regains his balance, but Punter grabs his head and walks out ahead of him, laughing. Kuririn, "Whaddya think you're..." Punter, "Oh, so that's where you were! I thought maybe you'd run away again!" Laughing, he begins swinging his arms. "You've gotta have no luck to be my opponent right away!" Kuririn shrinks away from his arms. "Well, don't worry yourself. With any luck, you'll just have to be taken to the hospital." He laughs, and they walk out together with Punter in front.

"And so, the two contestants take the ring. Contestant Kuririn placed very will in this Budokai during his younger years, and this will be his first appearance in a long while." Kuririn smiles as he walks to the platform. "He faces Contestant Punter, known for his ferocity, who last Budokai made it all the way to the semifinals, where he unfortunately met with a loss by ringout. This Budokai, he naturally came with his eye on victory!" Punter steps up onto the platform, grinning. He throws up his arms and screams, and the crowd cheers. Marron, "That man fighting with Father looks big and strong. Is he okay?" Yamucha puts his hand on her head. "Relax, relax. That guy is nothing at all. Your father is the strongest man in the world!" Marron, "Really?" Yamucha, "Yeah, really." He leans back again. "Among earthlings, anyhow." We hear complaints from the audience, but only see Kuririn and Punter standing on the platform. Man, "What's the deal with that difference in body size?" Another man, "This is no excuse for a match!" Some other guy, "That poor Contestant Kuririn!"

In the back, many contestants are watching the match. Vegeta and Piccolo, of course, are not. Piccolo continues with the twitching eyes and the sweat running down his face. "Oh, Contestant Punter!" Punter smashes his fists together. "Even with that much difference in their size, he doesn't appear to be going easy on him one bit! Contestant Punter is here with a purpose! So, how will Contestant Kuririn face off against him?" Punter, "It's obvious! I'll have to make him understand that the Tenkaichi Budokai is no place to play around." He continues smashing his fists together, as he has been the whole time. Finally, he stops. Pointing at Kuririn, he continues, "It's no place for a pipsqueak pappy like yourself to come to." Kuririn shrugs. "Man, this is no time to be wasting my energy on a bonehead like him." Killa leans against the wall, watching through a window.

--COMMERCIAL--

Killa, "Once you set flame to Punter's brutal way of fighting, he has no mercy." A small man flies at Punter, screaming. His kick is nullified when Punter grabs him by the ankle and holds him upside down. The man struggles and lands a kick on Punter's face. Punter grins, unfazed by the attack. He tosses the man into the floor of the stage, leaving am impression, then jumps on top of him. The man's arms fly up and he cries out in pain. Punter laughs. In the present, Kuririn and Punter are preparing to face off. "And so, please begin the match immediately!" Punter laughs and begins jumping around the ring, doing backflips as Kuririn watches, unimpressed. He finally stops and lands in front of Kuririn, laughing and heaving. "As you can see, I may be large, but I'm also fast and nimble. Got that!?" Kuririn is still completely unamazed, and just stares at him with that bored/annoyed look reserved for someone who's too full of himself. "You know that it's useless for you to try to scamper away from me!" Kuririn sighs. "I got it, I got it." He shakes his head. "I won't run, I won't run." Punter laughs. "It's too soon to lose heart yet! I'll show you how tough I am next! Go ahead and try punching me!" Once again, Kuririn simply sighs. Punter takes a step forward. "What's the matter? Don't be shy!" He slaps his belly and steps forward again. Kuririn shies away. "Well?... Well?" Kurriin, "Alright." He throws a punch and embeds most of his arm in Punter's stomach. Punter cries out in pain, his eyes bulging. Kuririn's other hand rests in his pocket. He begins slapping Punter around as the crowd watches in amazement. "I accept your gracious offer!" He jumps up and kicks Punter out of the ring. Killa is shocked. The announcer has to jump out of the way so he's not crushed. Punter lands and imprints his shape on the stone walkway leading to the ring, and then bounces up again, landing in the grass. Everything is silent for a few seconds, then the announcer says, "Right, Ringout!" Punter lies on his back, stunned. "Contestant Punter, Ringout! Contestant Kuririn wins!" Kuririn walks away, his eyes closed, one hand in his pocket and the other clenched in a fist above his head in a gesture of victory. Random person, "Awesome!" Bulma and Chichi together, "He did it, he did it!" Marron, "Father is strong!" Yamucha leans over her shoulder. "Told ya." Kuririn walks past his fallen opponent without even a glance. Announcer, "Way to go! As good as ever! I've been waiting for this! The Tenkaichi Budokai has got to be just like this!"

Goku, "Nice going, Kuririn." Kuririn laughs. "No problem." He turns to Piccolo. "Piccolo, your turn is next. Good luck!" Piccolo opens his eyes and looks over at Goku, who watches back silently. Kuririn now has his hands on his hips. "Hey, what are you so nervous about? This isn't the kind of match you should be getting nervous over!" He closes his eyes again. Vegeta looks over his shoulder at Piccolo, then faces forward again. Kuririn continues, "What's up, you guys?" Goku looks over at Shin and Kibit. Trunks helps himself to something to drink. "No fair, Trunks-kun! Let me have some too!" Trunks, "No way, we'll be found out! After the match!" Goten begins jumping back and forth from foot to foot, almost throwing Trunks off. "But it's hot in here, I can't stand it!" Goten reaches out from under the clothes for the drink. Trunks, "Ah, watch out! You can't just let go! Here, have some." He hands it to Goten, who makes a huge bulge in the sheet when he raises his arm to drink it. Trunks looks from side to side nervously. "Ah, that was good." Goten wipes his mouth, making another odd bulge. He drops the cup and it simply falls out of Mighty Mask's clothing.

The announcer consults a sheet of paper as he announces, "Continuing to the second match, we will have Contestant Shin vs. Contestant Ma Junior. Both contestants will enter the ring." Shin walks toward the door. Piccolo finally opens his eyes and follows. All of the Z Senshi watch as both fighters step outside. Shin smiles. "I see now. This would appear to be quite an entertaining tournament." Piccolo stares down at him quietly. "And so, both contestants, if you would..." Both of them start walking toward the platform. "This is Contestant Shin's first Budokai appearance. He faces Contestant Ma Junior, who showed us an extraordinary final round battle in a Budokai long ago, one that I remember quite well!" Shin steps onto the platform and as Piccolo walks up behind him, the announcer runs up and stops him. "Uh, er, please don't destroy the stadium this time."

Man, "Hey, isn't that one of the guys that got in the way when Mr. Satan fought Cell?" Another guy, "You're right! Unmistakable, it was on the TV!" Shin stands across from Piccolo, not making a move. Piccolo stares at him nervously. All eyes are on the fight, if it could be called that. Kuririn, "What's the matter? Does he really bother you that much? This Shin character?" Goku looks over at him. "Yeah, guess so." Kuririn, "I don't know... He doesn't look all that great." And still, Shin just stands. Vegeta, "Finally, we'll find out exactly the extent of this guy's battle power, which so far we can't even guess at."

"And so, second match! Please begin!" Shin grins at Piccolo, who's just getting worse and worse, and is probably going to be catatonic before too long. Sunlight glints off of Shin's earring that's on the viewer's left. Piccolo, "My power is failing me..." He clenches a fist, but can't do anything with it. He tries to move his legs, but his feet stay more or less anchored in place. And Shin simply grins at him. "W-why? For some reason, it's difficult to fight him..." He seems slightly alarmed by this point. "Yet I've just met him." All he sees is Shin with nothing of the rest of the world in the background.

Man, "What's wrong!? Why aren't they fighting!?" Another man in a yellow shirt taht says "SATAN" yells, "What's happening?" The crowd begins to get annoyed as the Z Senshi simply watch in silence. Announcer, "What's the matter? Please begin!" Man, "Stop messing around and go, already!" Someone else, "We came here to watch a match! We didn't come to see some staring contest!" Neither Shin nor Piccolo moves. Announcer, "Time is running out! Please, hurry and start!" Sweat all over his face, Piccolo still just stands there, staring at Shin. The background disappears and all there is around Shin is light. His hair blows around in a wind that doesn't exist outside of Piccolo's mind. Piccolo's eyes have gone wide. "U-unbelievable!" Goku, "Huh?" Gohan, "What's the matter with you, Piccolo-san?" Vegeta represents the "Angry" rather than the "Bewildered" from which Goku and Gohan come. "That rotten..." The wind and light disappear and the world around Shin returns to normal in Piccolo's head. "J-just who is this guy? What is it about him?" Shin smiles. "You will know soon enough." To use one of the normal words like, "Piccolo is shocked" or "Piccolo is surprised" or "stunned" or "amazed" or what have you would be an incredible understatement. Shin's words echo around in Piccolo's head. Now Piccolo is the one with the fake wind, and it blows his cape around against a background of dark clouds. "But now, let's just enjoy the game." Piccolo half gasps, half shouts out in shock. His surroundings return to normal and his cape falls back behind his back again. Goku, "Piccolo!" Announcer, "What is the matter?" Piccolo looks over his shoulder at the announcer. "E-excuse me." Announcer, "Huh?" Piccolo considers for a moment, then says, "I withdraw." Even Shin is caught off guard by that one, and of course, so are the rest of the Z Senshi. Gohan, "W-withdraw!?" Announcer, "By withdraw, you mean you aren't fighting?" Piccolo turns and walks off the stage. "That's correct." Shin, "That's right, he used to be the Kami over this planet. Perhaps he has already begun to sense who it is I am."

"Contestant Ma Junior has withdrawn, Contestant Shin wins without a fight!" The crowd cheers for some reason, even though by all logic, they should be pretty pissed off. Man, "What was that? What's going on!? Doesn't he feel well?" Another man, "You're right, he does seem awfully pale." Gohan, "Piccolo-san!" Piccolo keeps walking. Kuririn, "Hey, Piccolo!" Goku, "That bad, Piccolo?" Piccolo stops, but doesn't turn around. "Yeah. Our dimensions are too different." Goku, Vegeta, and Gohan are all surprised by the statement, and of course, it goes through the whole "stunned expression against a colorful background" thing for each one. Kuririn, "You're kidding, right? Stop joking around! I have to fight against him next!" Piccolo ignores him, still astonished by what happened during his non-fight with Shin.

Shin steps off the platform. "Well, let's keep on going. Next is the third match. Contestant Videl vs. Contestant Spopovitch." As he says their names, the 'camera' shows us each one. Videl is, as usual, standing next to Gohan. Spopovitch is sitting with his arms and legs crossed against the wall Punter was inhabiting earlier. Yamu stands next to him. The police band plays. The crowd, including Eliza (but not Sharpener), begins chanting, "Videl! Videl! Videl! Videl!" Gohan, "You're incredibly popular, huh? G-good luck, Videl-san!" She nods with a smile. Spopovitch doesn't move from his spot on the wall. His chest heaves as if he's breathing heavily. Killa approaches him. "Hey, Spopovitch, it's your turn!" He doesn't even acknowledge Killa. "Hey, you hear me?" Killa reaches out and touches his shoulder to get his attention, but instead, is shocked (literally) and jumps back. He grabs his hand as a little steam rises off it, and stares at Spopovitch in surprise. Spoopovitch still remains in place, as if he didn't notice even when Killa touched him, and Killa's mouth hangs open. Yamu reaches over and taps him on the shoulder. "It's time." Spopovitch rises to his feet, grunting. He lumbers toward the door as Killa stares down at his burned hand.

Videl steps outside, then stops. She looks over her shoulder. "Gohan-kun." She gives him a thumbs-up. "I'll be waiting for you in the second round." He smiles and nods. "Contestant Videl is, as everyone knows, Mr. Satan's daughter, as well as a friend of justice, who in cooperation with the police, has helped punish many bad people." Shin walks back toward the building as Spopovitch and Videl walk out. "At the Budokai seven years ago, despite being a little girl, she prides herself on winning the Junior Division. She faces off against Spopovitch, who was eliminated in the first round of the last Budokai, but having undergone an image change, is up to the challenge again." The crowd chants, "Videl! Videl! Videl!" Shin walks between Videl and Spopovitch, and though Spopovitch pays him no mind, Shin looks back over his shoulder as he keeps walking. Videl and Spopovitch step up onto the platform, Shin watching (and for once, not smiling). His earring glints in the sunlight.