Undyingly Unpleasant!? The Mystery of Spopovitch

"Videl! Videl! Videl!" Shin scrutinizes Spopovitch while the crowd chants. As she approaches the stage, Videl waves to her fans, and the chanting fades into screaming and cheering. Shin finally turns away from Spopovitch and continues back into the building. Videl and Spopovitch stop in the middle of the stage; Videl is perfectly calm, while Spopovitch's expression leads one to believe that he's in the process of giving birth. Videl, "How gross!" Spopovitch stares at her silently, his chest heaving. Shin finally makes it back to the building. Kuririn observes, "That guy's really occupied with something..." Without a word, Shin passes between Vegeta and Goku, who both watch curiously. Shin keeps walking, deep in thought, until he looks up and sees Piccolo leaning against the wall ahead of him. Piccolo stands and Shin approaches him. Piccolo stares down at him, while Shin simply smiles back.

Eliza stands up and waves. "Videl! Good luck!" Sharpener, "Hey, Videl will have an easy victory against that rat." Next to him is one of the other kids from their class, who as I recall, wasn't ever given a name (if he was, I sure as hell don't remember it), but he was the one who mistook "Great Saiyaman" for "Great Tireman." Anyway, he's holding up a sigh that says "VIDEL." The police watch eagerly, chanting "Fight! Fight! Lovely Videl!" Chichi looks around. "Whaddya know? Gohan's girlfriend is unusually popular." Bulma, apparently angry (and with her arms crossed, of course), replies, "So it seems." Yamucha, "Eh?" He turns to Chichi. "That kid is Gohan's...? How about that? Gohan must know a thing or two about girls." He grins. Chichi jumps up, right in his face. "Yeah! And besides, I've been hearin' that she's a girl from a rich family, and Gohan's so good to his Ma." Bulma, "But she is the only daughter of Mr. Satan." Yamucha smiles. "Something like that doesn't matter. After all, that's a matter between the two of them."

The crowd cheers; Videl and Spopovitch stare each other down. "And so, the third match, between Contestant Videl and Contestant Spopovitch! Please begin!" Videl adopts a fighting pose and Spopovitch continues to look so incredibly odd.

Piccolo stares straight ahead quietly. Shin smiles. "What is it?" PIccolo, "Perhaps I'm mistaken, but m-might you be..." Shin, "Yes?" Piccolo, "...m-might you be Dai Kaiousama?" Shin, "No, I am not." Kibit steps out from behind a wall, appearing behind Piccolo. He's not facing Piccolo, he's facing toward what would be Piccolo's right, or the viewer's left. "He isn't Dai Kaiou." Piccolo looks over his shoulder at Kibit, who in turn looks at Piccolo. "This is Kaioushin-sama." Piccolo's mouth drops open and he cries out in disbelief, turning back to Kaioushin. "K...Kaioushin!?" Kaioushin watches quietly, smiling as always.

With a scream, Videl leaps forward and kicks Spopovitch hard in the face. He falls back and she jumps forward, hitting him in the gut with her left elbow. Announcer, "Whoa! Contestant Videl makes a lead-off attack!" As he speaks, we see Videl in the background pummeling Spopovitch with punches and the occasional kick. The 'camera' moves back to the fight, and the much better view it provides shows Spopovitch with his arms up defensivley as Videl unleashes a barrage of punches and kicks simultaneously, standing only on her left foot. "Such ferocity! She gives him absolutely no chance to hit back!" She drops her leg and goes back to just punching, then kicking again, and then more punching. Finally, she jumps back for a moment, then charges forward again, yelling.

And Piccolo is still stunned. Kaioushin walks past him, and Piccolo can't even turn around. "Please keep this to yourself, for now." He stops and looks back at Piccolo. "I do not wish anyone to know just yet." And while Piccolo sits there in shock, Kaioushin and Kibit walk away in the background. He finally recovers enough to close his mouth and utters, "K...Kaioushin-sama..." He then gives us a nice explanation of where Kaioushin stands in the divine hierarchy. Against a yellow background are silhouettes of the four Kaiou. "Above the four Kaiousama stands Dai Kaiousama..." The four Kaiou are replaced by Dai Kaiou's silhouette, but he disappears into a dark background with blue dots of light. "I had heard stories that higher still, there was a Kami that stood over the Kaiousama, but..." Kaioushin materializes in this poorly lit world, and then the background returns to yellow, except we see Kaioushin instead of his silhouette. He clenches his teeth and squeezes his fists. "No wonder he should have a dimension so different than ours."

Son Goku approaches. "What's the matter, Piccolo? Did he say something untoward to you?" Piccolo looks up, gasping. "If he did, want me to go over and snap at him? After all, Piccolo, you did used to be Kami over the Earth!" Piccolo chokes and throws up his hands. "S-stop! Don't say a thing! Please! Don't say anything! Got it!?" Goku looks at him with confusion. Meanwhile on Kaiou Kai, a butterfly passes through a halo. Kaiousama is in a similar state of surprise. "That young man is K-Kaioushin-sama!? I've never even had the honor of meeting him. Why would such a figure go somewhere like Earth?"

Videl grunts as she kicks Spopovitch in the face, sending him sliding across the platform. Little pieces of the floor fly up around him as he bounces to a stop. "Oh! Contestant Spopovitch is down already! I will begin the count!" Spopovitch sits up, surprising everyone. Videl prepares to continue the fight by re-adopting a fighting stance. "Contestant Spopovitch has gotten to his feet! Looks like he still has plenty of get-up-and-go left in him!" With a shout, Spopovitch charges forward and throws a strong punch, but Videl blocks it with her forearm. He begins his own punch assault, but Videl blocks it by throwing out her own fists to stop his, and so they go back and forth for a while, punching each other in the fist. Videl introduces her foot into it as an alternate shield, and then finally kicks him in the face, breaking the cycle. He drops back, but as soon as he recovers, he angrily rushes forward.

Killa and Jewel watch from the sidelines as the fight continues in the background. Killa, "Spopovitch there sure does take a blow a lot stronger now." Jewel, arms crossed (of course), replies, "I guess more than just his outward appearance has changed." Killa, "Yeah." Spopovitch, sporting a full head of red hair and a little more color to his skin, turns around in a flashback to the 24th Tenkaichi Budokai. He looks pretty normal, with no letters on his forehead and no bulging blood vessels. "When I first saw him, I didn't realize it was him."

Spopovitch screams and jumps forward, attempting to grab Videl, but she ducks under his arms and slides past him. He turns around and she jumps up; Videl strikes first, kicking him in the head again. He slides across the platform. Videl's eyes go wide and she gasps when he slowly lifts himself back up. He looks over his shoulder at her furiously. His entire body heaves with his heavy breathing. People in the crowd shout out random phrases of encouragement at Videl, who once again readopts a fighting pose. Yamu hovers nearby, watching the fight. "Contestant Videl lands a terrific hit! However, Contestant Spopovitch seems to be bearing it well. Yamu's arms are crossed and his expression is very serious.

Spopovitch charges forward again, but Videl ducks under his arms. She throws her foot out in an attempt to trip him, but he simply runs forward and his far larger mass drives Videl with him. However, she grabs him by the shirt, drops onto her back, and manages to throw him over her head. Spopovitch's mouth drops open in surprise and he lands on his head nearby, falling onto his back. The crowd cheers. Videl breathes heavily, glaring at him. "Contestant Spopovitch is down...no!" Spopovitch rises again. "He's back up!" Everyone is shocked as Spopovitch gets back to his feet. "He's gotten up!"

Spopovitch glares at Videl over his shoulder, so angry that he's literally foaming at the mouth. She charges ahead to attack again, but he throws up his arm and her forearm collides with his elbow. She throws up her right knee, but he blocks it with his other forearm. Her arm and leg parts with his and she kicks with her left foot, but only hits his arm again. She ducks as he throws a kick of his own with his left leg, then jumps back up and kicks him in the gut. He throws his left elbow at her, and she puts up both hands to block it. She punches with her left arm, but he catches it with his left hand. She ducks past another kick and jumps up with her knee again, only to have it blocked once more. She throws another kick, but he manages another block. He kicks a third time, but she once again avoids it.

Kuririn and Gohan watch the fight from the door. Goku approaches after his conversation with Piccolo and asks, "How's that girl doing?" Kuririn, "She can go!" Gohan smiles. "Yeah, she has ability completely over his! Her techniques are landing one after the other." Vegeta, "Hmph, what a low level of fighting..."

We don't actually see the next two hits, just Spopovitch being thrown back with a grunt after each one. Videl screams and jumps forward to land another kick in the chest. Spopovitch once again slides back across the platform, eventually landing face down. "She's connected once again!" Out of breath, Videl stares at her downed opponent. "She certainly is a gifted young lady when it comes to hand-to-hand! The great man Spopovitch is no match for her!" Eliza, "Nice!" Sharpener, "Way to go, Videl!" Chichi, "She's doin' pretty good, huh, that girl?" Bulma, "She sure is fit to be Gohan's girlfriend, huh?" Chichi smiles and folds her hands. "You really think so! I do! We gotta get those two married now, no matter what!" She laughs. Yamucha, "You gotta be kidding. That's really Mr. Satan's daughter?" Gohan, "So? She's doing pretty good, isn't she?" Goku watches, smiling; however, his smile quickly disappears when Spopovitch once more climbs to his feet, and he is absolutely seething. Videl, "No way!" Announcer, "Whoa! Contestant Spopovitch once again rises as if nothing has happened! What toughness he is displaying!" Everyone watches in amazement. A thin line of blood runs down Spopovitch's chin. Goku watches quietly.

--COMMERCIAL--

"This proves to be an unexpected development. Contestant Videl's ferocious attack does not seem to be registering any damage on Contestant Spopovitch!" Even Vegeta seems to have taken notice of this "low level of fighting," as he is now watching the battle. He turns from Spopovitch to Goku; Goku looks back at him and nods. After a few seconds, Vegeta looks back to the fight, and Goku does the same. Meanwhile, the enraged Spopovitch is charging at Videl. "You sure are stubborn!" She jumps up and kicks him square in the face, and he suddenly falls back. Before he even hits the ground, she elbows him hard in the chest. He slams into the platform and bounces once, landing face down. She leaps forward as he stands back up and begins pummeling him with punches to the gut. She jumps back briefly, then flies back at him, hitting him in the chin with her right knee. He falls over. Gohan, "Alright! It's over!" Videl lands on her feet, Spopovitch on his head. He ends up on his back. "It's decided!"

Videl drops her arms to her sides, completely exhausted. "Contestant Videl lands continuous, terrible attacks! Not even Contestant Spopovitch can possibly, possib...?" And then Spopovitch raises his knee. Videl watches as Spopovitch once more climbs to his feet. She gasps. Aside from a few bruises here and there on his chest and some blood running down his chin, Spopovitch is more or less okay. He grins. "H-he's up." Gohan, "I-impossible!" Goku, "She's better off withdrawing from this match. There's something weird about him." Gohan, "Huh?" Kuririn, "Withdraw? But Videl's leading him!" Gohan, "That's right!" Vegeta turns completely away from the other Z Senshi (before, he was facing them, but had his head turned toward the fight) and takes a step forward. Goku watches the fight, not responding to Kuririn's or Gohan's disagreement.

Spopovitch approaches the worn out Videl. He backhands her and sends her flying. Gohan, followed by the entire crowd, gasps. Eliza, "Aah! Videl!" Sharpener, "Heh, relax! Videl's just playing around with him." Chichi jumps up and yells, "Snap out of it! I can't very well let you become Gohan's bride like that!" Bulma whispers to Yamucha, "Looks as though Chichi-san is about to become the fussy mother-in-law!" Yamucha looks up at Chichi and agrees with Bulma, then sits back again.

Videl sits up and watches Spopovitch walking toward her. She jumps to her feet and Spopovitch charges forward, catching her off guard. He kicks her and she's once again thrown back. Gohan gasps. The crowd watches, worried. One man, "Ah! She'll fall!" Eliza, "Oh no!" Videl passes over the side of the platform. She realizes she's off the stage and suddenly begins to glow. The announcer cries out in surprise. The crowd gasps. Glowing, Videl hovers above the grass. The light fades away, but she remains in the air. "She's...stopped." She rights herself, then flies into the air above the ring. "How's this? Contestant Videl is flying in mid-air! She has not yet fallen!" She lands in front of Spopovitch, breathing heavily. She's got some blood running down her chin and a bruise on her cheek, but is otherwise okay. Sharpener, "W-what!?" Eliza, "What's going on?" Gohan, "Nice going! Nice going! I taught her how to do that, the Bukujutsu technique!" Goku, "She may have been better off falling out just now." Gohan, "Huh?" Goku, "There's something strange about that Spopovitch guy. He should have taken all that damage up until now, yet he ain't bothered by it, and I can't feel any life's ki in him as such." Gohan, "'Live's ki as such'? What do you mean?" Goku, "Well, I don't know what it means." Spopovitch grins at Videl.

"What? Videl is about to get beaten by Spopovitch!?" Attendant, "Y-yes." Satan puts his hands on his hips and laughs. He wags his finger and says, "There's some kind of mistake. Spopovitch was defeated by me in the first round of the last Budokai!" He walks off screen for a moment, then returns with a drink. "Videl has much greater strength than he does!" He holds his glass in the air. Attendant, "Well, you see, it appears he has gotten much better since last time..." Mr. Satan laughs. "She's acting, she's acting! Videl, you rascal, you've learned from me, trying to stir up this Budokai, aren't you!?" He downs his drink in one gulp. "Are you sure that's it?" Satan, "That has to be it!" Angrily, he slams his glass down on a table. It tips over and rolls off the table, shattering when it hits the floor.

Chest heaving, Videl watches Spopovitch and manages to dodge his next punch by jumping out of the way. A kick, she jumps away. They both pause, then she jumps forward again, surprising him. She kicks him hard in the head, then jumps down. When she looks back up at him, she gasps. The announcer cries out in surprise. Spopovitch's head is on backwards. "Contestant Spopovitch's neck has been broken!" Videl watches, worried. GOhan, "She's done him in!" Spopovitch collapses. Man, "Whoa! She killed him!" The entire crowd is stunned. Videl drops to her knees. Chichi and Bulma are speechless. Yamucha covers Marron's eyes. "You mustn't look!" The announcer holds up his microphone. "L-ladies and gentlemen, this is a most tragic conclusion. According to the rules of this Budokai, as Contestant Videl has killed her opponent, she is disqualif...?" A few people in the crowd cry out in surprise as Spopovitch moves. He slowly sits back up. Gohan yells, and the announcer screams in shock. Spopovitch, now standing, grabs his head and slowly twists it. Videl gasps as it gradually returns to its correct position. He finally simply lifts it up, streching his neck, and then sets it back in place. Videl (and everyone else, for that matter) gasps. Announcer, "W-w-w... What's this!? His neck has returned to normal! How can this possibly be!?" Spopovitch moves his head back and forth, cracking his neck in the process. He grins.

Videl watches in shock and fear. "W-what is this?" Spopovitch pulls back his leg, but Videl is too preoccupied with being astonished to notice until it's actually connecting with her face. Gohan gasps. Videl lands a few feet away and sits back up. Spopovitch smiles as blood drips from her face, staining her white clothing. Her hand, several fingers covered in blood, hides her nose and mouth. Kuririn, "Goku is right. She'd better concede! There's definitely something irregular about that punk!" Vegeta watches silently. Spopovitch charges forward once again and swipes at her, but Videl jumps into the air and hovers above the ring. "Oh! Contestant Videl is flying again!" She gasps for breath. Gohan, "Yeah! That's good! Escape up into the air for a bit to recover some of your energy!" Spopovitch glares angrily at her, but with just a few minor changes, his angry expression turns into a wide grin and his feet slowly lift into the air. Gohan, "H-he's flying!" Videl, "It can't be!" Spopovitch rises toward the quite alarmed Videl.